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Every year my family conveniently “forgets” to invite me home for Christmas, so this year I bought myself a house on a snowy mountaintop; on the holiday, they all showed up with a locksmith to quietly claim the house for my brother, having no idea that in the living room a lawyer, a camera, and a sheriff were already waiting. It sounds like the opening line of some over-the-top courtroom drama on Netflix, but this is my actual life, and it starts in a very ordinary way—in a glass-and-steel offic